The big adjustment.

It has been 10 days since I left Spain. It has not been easy adjusting. Many people have expressed a need for closure or a conclusion of sorts in regards to this blog, unaware of my own need and desire to continue writing. I have so very much enjoyed writing and sharing this experience. Clearly there has been much left out. One because there simply isn't enough time to write absolutely everything and two, because some things were simply magical, special and personal and not meant to be shared.
The most obvious adjustment since returning home was the abrupt physical cessation of walking. I am now sitting 8 hours a day again and struggling to fit 40 squats and a good walk into my day. Most days I have managed to wake up and get 30 minutes on the treadmill but thats about it. A far cry from 25km days. Beyond the physical changes, the mental game has been much harder and runs far deeper. My mind is no longer free to roam and dream and linger on in moments of bliss. It is now planning dinners, paying bills and sorting hours of work related stress.  In truth,  I still have many, many moments where I am in my impenetrable bubble, reliving moments of passion and laughter and celebrating life. I am working on allowing both mindsets to co-habitate inside my head.

 My first day home was a beautiful reunion with my kids, my dog and my wonderful Mother who put her life on hold to care for my clan and homelife, enabling me to walk the Camino. We ate and drank and laughed. It was easy, probably mirrored my evenings in Spain to a certain degree. The next day however was much tougher. I took the day in pieces and spent some time in my room feeling weepy and not really understanding why. I spent an afternoon with my theatre group, feeling very welcomed back but also felt distracted and struggled to focus.

On the first Monday, my lovely co- workers welcomed me back with signs and excitement and congratulations and gratefully, a very light workload. As I made my rounds at work I was surprised and quite saddened that anyone would try to deflate my joy and negate my hope but it happened. Only one person, out of many supportive friends. Regardless,  I'm in a headspace no one can touch and I intend to stay there as long as I can.
I let go of so much in Spain and it opened my eyes, my heart and lightened my load. I feel free and unburdened. I feel incredible, immeasurable amounts of gratitude. I feel passionate about life and my soul is lit. I feel unafraid, trusting in others and have found faith again in humanity. I feel content and have found peace. And in this place of freedom and peace, I have found love.  The kind of love that inspires you, builds you up and feeds your soul. The kind of love that gives you the desire to be the best possible version of the person you are. A love that is like a light that illuminates you, guides you, calms you and makes everything feel right in the world.

I believe the universe unfolds as it is meant to. I understand now why what I thought I wanted never came to be. It wasn't meant to. I lost faith. I stopped believing. And now ... "now I know how the river feels, when it reaches the sea. It finally finds the place it was always meant to be."

Until we travel together again, until the next adventure, be well, be kind and be the light in someone's life. Live and love without fear.
Buen Camino x

Thank you for being a part of my journey.

Fisterra to Muxia - A perfect day ❤

Day 38 - Today was our last day and our original plan was to walk 30 kms to Muxia. Yesterday ended with an epic amount of wine and I need not describe to you how I may have felt when I woke up.
We decided that we wouldn't spend our last day walking regardless of how much we would miss the long days and the sore feet. We decided to make the most of it...we were due for a beach day.
Christian and Kaitlyn had yet to see the lighthouse and the last 0.0 kms marker. We took a taxi for the 3km climb and asked the driver to wait. We took our last Camino photos and enjoyed the view and even bumped into Vanica from Australia for a quick farewell!

Taxi then took us to a restaurant for lunch and told us the beach we were interested in 'Praia do Rostro' was a short 2 km walk along the Camino Fisterra. We thought no problem, a short stroll compared to what we were used to walking. So we had a nice lunch, calamari and fries on a sun drenched patio in a little town and asked the driver to pick us up at the beach at 4pm. We had a long, lazy lunch and then started walking, packs on but in flip flops, as if in rebellion. We walked along country lanes and up and over some crazy hills and kept believing the beach would soon be within our sights...it wasn't, but we did not give up.

We walked a couple of hours, in the hot sun until finally reaching the beach. There waiting was the taxi driver and a sign saying swimming was not allowed.

 We all laughed for awhile and then just dropped everything and walked towards the water. It was after 3 pm so we still had just less than an hour left to play. It was then I realised why I was there. This beach was so pure and natural, the waves were massive and the clear blue water crashing against the rocks with big, white spray added drama to the ever present roar of the ocean. It was protected by hills and forest and no one was there but us. It was a perfect place for Christian and I to release my Dad's ashes that I had carried with me from the beginning. My Dad would not in his older years have walked 900 kms across Spain with me but he sure would have wanted to. Now he has. It was another beautiful moment in time.

After goofing off in the waters edge, we made our way with our patient taxi driver to Muxia. Settled in, had a couple drinks and snacks at a seaside cafe and made our way to the memorial for the sunset. The smell of the sea and seagulls squawking set the mood of a perfect little fishing village. It was a
1 km walk along the oceans edge and with the sun already dropping it was cool and the sky pink and dark orange along the horizon.

It was incredibly beautiful, we circled the rock hand in hand (tradition), we shared, we laughed, (so much laughter), and love was found. ❤
It was a very Buen Camino indeed.

Corcubion to Finisterre - the end of the earth

Day 37 - I haven't written in several days, I'm still processing all that I feel in my heart and my mind. We left Corcubion with the sun just rising on the harbour behind us. We walked up and over a fairly large hill without coffee or breakfast, again. Some forest trails and a little bit of road walking. But not just any road. A coastal road. A quiet, cool morning with the smell of the sea in the air and the sun slowly giving us some of it's warmth. We found a pristine, calm beach and the tide was low so the sand was untouched. Aside from a few birds, it was just the 3 of us. We walked from end to end and like another blessing, found a beachside cafe for coffee and eggs.

We continued on, climbed more, walked on, into the forest and hills. After about 12 kms, the trees opened like a window at the end of the trail and gave us our first look at Finesterre, the end of the Earth, and the end of The Way of St. James and it was stunning. Rocky shores in all directions except for the massive stretch of a beautiful, sandy beach along our way. We came to the edge of the beach and had a drink at a little cafe perched on the rocks, to celebrate our arrival. The beach beckoned us and we obliged. We walked slow and easy along the waters edge, wearing our packs and the biggest smiles you have ever seen. We picked shells and shared our treasures with one another.

Our hotel was waiting for us at the other end of the beach... and what a beautiful view from our window.

The kids chose to stay at the beach and I walked into town for an incredibly beautiful evening.

 Made it to Fisterra as the sun dropped below the horizon, to the lighthouse, the very end of the way. The end of the Camino Frances and the Camino Fisterra. The sky was a mix of yellows and orange and pale blue. Of course there was wine. It was beautiful, romantic and absolutely perfect.

As I walked that morning into Finisterre, knowing it was coming to an end, I was remembering why I fell in love everyday in Spain. I fell in love with the trail, the Cathedrals, the church bells, the cobblestones, the cow bells, the roosters, the donkeys, the sounds of the birds when we woke before dawn, the small towns, the ocean, the wine, the people and the sounds of laughter.  I fell in love with my Camino families, my pilgrim friends, and a beautiful Frenchman.

I also played back in my head some special moments in time. The locals wishing me 'Buenos Dias' and 'Buen Camino' every day, even two small children, on my last morning, on their way to school wished me a 'Buen Camino'. Listening to an Irishman speak in awe of the Camino butterflies that flutter and hover in front of your face like they have to tell you something, the hippie oasis where a woman moved people to tears singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", the magic of music in Hornillos, singing 'Creep' at full volume in an old schoolhouse with my son and an Irishman and his guitar, every single glass of wine and the laughing, more laughing,  the arm wrestling in Los Arcos, the shots of Aguardiente in Najera, taking two weeks to pronounce Najera correctly and paella and Calle haha, drinking wine straight from the bottle and listening to tunes in the fields of hay while the sun sets, wild blackberries, and figs, the sunrises, the blue skies, the olive trees and the vineyards, the night walking with wolves, sleeping under the stars, the beach walks, the celebrations in Santiago, So many moments, special ones, life changing thoughts, a million emotions being cleansed with every step you take. A healing process and an adventure. A physical challenge and a sense of accomplishment everyday that was celebrated. It was an incredible journey. Unforgettable. And it was an unforgettable day, truly perfect ... sadly only one day left to Muxia.
Couldn't imagine it could get even better ❤ But it did.
X

Dumbria to Corcubion and Clarity

I'm not sure I can even find the words to explain to you how amazing today was. First let me tell you where I am. I am 10kms from Finesterre... the end of the earth. The western most tip of Spain. We are in a small, quaint, fishing town called Corcubion and staying in a gorgeous villa with our own huge patio overlooking the sea.

 For now, Christian and I have walked to the water to dip our feet in the clear, cold Atlantic Ocean. There isn't a beach but a rock path that lines the harbour and a few ramps for the boats to launch. There are about a hundred boats anchored not far from shore and all the properties are almost completely faced with windows to admire the view. We found a ramp merging with natural rock that has provided a perfect perch for us and our feet. The breeze is refreshingly cool with the salty scent of the sea but the sun, although starting to drop, is intense with its heat. The water is ice cold and feels glorious on the blisters both old and new.

24.8kms today mostly through hilly forest. Gorgeous views from the top today...especially once we could see the ocean and the white houses with their red tiled roofs illuminated by the sun. Stunning entrance to town.

We had the best sleep ever last night. We had a giant 2 bedroom apartment with a full kitchen but no groceries within 15 kms. We ate the pilgrim meal in the restaurant downstairs and I stayed up writing 4 days of blogs that had been postponed due to heavy drinking
It was so quiet at night. No snoring. No 2 am toilet flushes x 20. No restless ladies tossing and turning in their noisy sleeping bags AND no old men walking past me to go pee in their tighty whities .
Dark and silent. I actually slept so deep and sound, I woke up at 0530 and had not a clue where I was or the day of the week or even the year!!!

We left late knowing it was a short day but started out going the wrong way  Backtracked then put in 3 kms and sat for a bit to have coffee and breakfast. As we were picking up our bags again to leave, I realized I forgot all my necklaces at the apartment. So I left my pack with the kids who enjoyed the weefee (hahaha) and I went back for my collection of Camino necklaces....

I actually ran, in hiking boots. I did not however run back. I walked back feeling relieved and beyond ready to go forward. As I walked to day I had very mixed emotions. I felt extremely grateful and happy and full of love. Yet sad... sad knowing this part of my journey is coming to a close, sad that at least one more difficult goodbye is imminent and very sad I won't be waking up and walking 25kms a day. I feel like at some point today I started walking slower, not because I was tired or sore but because I just don't want this to end. It feels normal now... and it feels right. Strangely, it reconfirms that I don't need material things, I don't need much more than love, shelter and food to sustain. Shower seems necessary actually...Oh... and wine, definitely need that hahaha ❤
Over these past 5 weeks I have learned so much about me, the people around me and it has given me a new perspective. Life is a Camino. This is MY Camino. We are all on a journey. It's yours to design. No more judging others for their decisions and choices. I am not better than you and you are not better than me. We are all simply different. Accept each other. Learn from each other. Give to one another and simply share with those who are less fortunate. Watch those with pain and suffering evolve into happy humans when shown love, compassion and understanding. Even the most misunderstood can surprise you with the most tender heart. This is not the end. It's a new beginning. Everyday is a new beginning.
Buen Camino x
❤