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It’s Time To Talk About Microaggressions

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In the workplace, there’s a certain kind of slight that shows up in different ways: an interrupted conversation; a backhanded compliment; an ignorant assumption based in stereotypes; the continued mispronunciation of a name. It’s called a microaggression, but when you consider its impact, “micro” is an understatement. Research shows that microaggressions can lead to a hostile work environment, decreased productivity, feelings of being devalued and excluded and can even fuel mental health challenges, such as depression and anxiety.

The term microaggression dates back to the 1970s, when it was coined by psychiatrist and Harvard professor Chester M. Pierce, MD, and primarily referred to issues around race. In recent years, it’s evolved to describe acts of subtle bias and discrimination towards marginalized groups of people, in areas such as race, gender, sexual orientation and those with disabilities. Some common examples include telling a Black woman she’s “articulate;” suggesting that a woman should “smile more;” the seeming inability for some people to learn how to pronounce “Kamala.” Because these biases can be subtle, some people don’t even know they have them. That’s why we need to talk about this topic more. 

For many, it’s personal

I’ve been interrupted in meetings, asked to get coffee as the only woman in the room, called “bossy” or “emotional,” and felt the pressure to conform to male standards of leadership. These daily, subtle microaggressions take their toll — and they are even more pronounced for women of color.

To delve into this more, the Female Quotient brought together a virtual conversation of high-powered women to talk about microaggressions in the workplace. One of the participants was Terri Cooper, chief inclusion officer at Deloitte, who shared the results of a recent bias barriers study. Her team interviewed nearly 3,000 people around the world, and 64% felt they experienced bias in the workplace, with 83% of those saying it was subtle, indirect or microaggressions. The majority agreed it had a profound impact on their ability to be their authentic selves and bring their best self to work.

The three other women on the panel were Black women in high-powered positions who were generous in sharing their personal experiences. LaVerne Council, who is CEO at Emerald One, recounted how a male colleague once asked her, “Who’s taking care of your kid?” Regardless of his intention, it hurt. “I never remember a male being asked, ‘Who’s taking care of your child?’ So there’s an indictment you’re maybe not as good as a mom,” she said. 

Carina White, who is head of branding and marketing for the podcast and community group Dope Black Mums, said in recent chats with 300 members of the online community, every person could recall a microaggression revolving around issues such as their hair, the food they eat, the way they speak and even questioning their ascension to a position of power in their careers. “I’ve had it, my friends have had it, my daughter will inevitably go through the same thing when she gets to working age,” said White. “And I think it’s important that we have these conversations now to make sure that the next generation and the generation after them are not having to feel the same way that we feel in the workplace.”

Arielle Dulberg, who is talent engagement program manager at YouTube Staffing, said that after George Floyd was killed, she was singled out in multiple meetings by white colleagues to speak about the tragedy. In those moments, she said what would have helped her most is having white colleagues act as allies and speak out on her behalf. “When we are the ones being impacted by things, and also by the folks calling them out, it’s that double pain and double damage, but also we’re risking our reputation in that moment [by speaking out],” she says. 

We must be the change

What we can learn from these women, and from anyone who’s experienced a microaggression, is it takes a toll. It makes us feel less than. It detracts from our focus and our confidence. It’s exhausting. There’s a reason psychologists call microaggressions “death by a thousand cuts.” In order to stop them from happening in the workplace, we must name them and establish a course of action to address them when they happen.  If we can all create an environment where everyone is more conscious, it will go a long way in giving people the confidence they need to feel comfortable speaking up and give their full potential.

Whatever microaggression you’re experiencing — whether someone keeps talking over you during a meeting, or you’re dealing with a toxic boss — it’s important to speak up for yourself and to be an ally to others who are experiencing similar pain. The challenging thing about these kinds of comments is that, too often, the aggressor is clueless about the damage they’re doing. When talked over, state clearly, “I’d like to finish my thought.” With that toxic boss, ask, with sincerity, what you can do to be a better team member, and bring solutions to the table. If someone insults you, knowingly or not, set up a meeting to point out what they said, and how it made you feel. If your efforts are ineffective in any of these scenarios, consider taking the issue to HR. By doing so,  you could help protect colleagues from such encounters in the future.

For those who’ve dealt with microaggressions, it’s critical to remember that these painful incidents are never about your value or your worth. They’re about the ignorance or inexperience of the person who is saying them. You are good enough. You wouldn’t be in that job if you weren’t essential. You wouldn’t have a place at that table if your voice wasn’t meant to be heard.

When I think back to that panel, I believe LaVerne Council said it best when she pointed out that addressing microaggressions doesn’t just need to happen at an organizational level, but at an individual one. “Take the time to prepare yourself when you’re in a room with people who are different than you. Take the time to think about what you’re going to say and how you’re going to say it,” she said. “If you want to be good at being a human being, then you need to take the time to learn.”

If there’s one thing we’ve learned in recent months, it’s this: Many of us need to become a little more comfortable with being uncomfortable. Because that’s how it feels when you address these biases. And with that tension comes learning, growth, and a workplace that’s inclusive of us all.

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