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The California lottery says it best: “A little play can make your day.” And that’s exactly how I felt when I laid my eyes (and tongue!) on the flat croissant from Alexander’s Patisserie.
It’s just fun.
I firmly believe that there are candy people, pastry people and people who don’t enjoy life. While I’m not big on candy, I do love my pastries. But the fact of the matter is that there are only so many pastries available to try in the world. And if someone invents (or popularizes) a new pastry, I’m here for it.
While Alexander’s Patisserie didn’t invent the flat croissant, reaction in recent weeks tells me they sure are popularizing it in the Bay Area. Crispy flat croissants went viral on TikTok last year but have stayed an at-home cooking hack rather than a bakery mainstay. That is, until Alexander’s Patisserie decided to add it to its menu.
When I walked into the bakery’s Mountain View location, I was giddy; I almost felt like I was walking into Dominique Ansel to try the cronut for the first time. What flavors would be available? How big would a flat croissant be? Would the taste fall…flat?
Posed like books on shelves, the flat croissants were standing up and neatly filed with the help of wooden posts, organized into their respective flavors: mango, strawberry, chocolate and original. Surrounding the flat croissants were other croissant varieties, including pain suisse, kouign amann and three flavored croissants. Visually, the flat croissants were stunning – in a sea of golden brown pastry, the sunshiny yellow and pastel pink of the flat croissants popped out.
It was a rainy day, and the sunshiny yellow was calling me.
So I answered and paid $7.09 (which was cheaper than that new Starbucks Oleato drink I never should have bought).
Size check: This thing is around the size of a full-grown adult’s head. It’s awesome.
Biting into the monstrosity, I heard a loud crunch, and suddenly my lap had bits of flaky pastry scattered about like dandruff. Crispy, flaky and buttery, but not too sweet, it felt more like a cookie than a croissant. The mango coating was delectable – it added a punch of tanginess that cut through the richness of the buttery pastry. My one critique is I wish the coating covered the entire pastry, not just half.
Now I will say it’s difficult to eat the whole thing – the flat croissant is much richer than a traditional croissant. I ate less than half before I was satisfied, and I feel like it’s better suited as a dessert than as a morning accompaniment to a cup of coffee. But let me be clear – it’s a delicious dessert that, if you close your eyes, isn’t all that reminiscent of a croissant.
My conclusion is that if you want a croissant, you’ll only be disappointed by the flat version. But if you strip away your preexisting notions of what a croissant should be and open yourself up to the experience of trying an entirely new category of pastry, you’ll have a fun and delectable time.
So to those who say the flat croissant is a “crime,” (Eater SF) or “lifeless,” (SF Chronicle), I say, “Where’s the play in your day?”
Alexander’s Patisserie, 209 Castro St., Mountain View, 650-864-9999; 19379 Stevens Creek Blvd., Cupertino, 408-886-3333. Instagram: @alexanderspatisserie.
I already knew the term “meme” and memetics before it took on its special Internet meaning, so I get the whole metaphor of “viral.”
But am I such an old fogey that when I read about viral food, the first thing I think of is… wait for it… viruses, which I definitely don’t want in my food. Yes, I have seen references to viral food even in the NYT, so I’m apparently the one with the problem.
I’m probably stick with the non-flattened croissants, but to each their own.
Thanks for the review! I’m too old for TikTok so this is the first I’ve heard about them. I’ll go try a mango one too, although I do love croissants so maybe I’ll by both!Thanks for the description on the size, will definitely have to bring a friend.