The Remarkable Retirement of Edna Fisher has been out in the world for one month today

(well, two days ago, but my relationship with time was characterized yesterday as flimsy and convenient which is my new favorite thing)

I was going to make yesterday's newsletter something about my reflections one month into being a debut author, but every time I opened Substack I had flies for brains (constant mood admittedly). also it's May, which is the month of the Biggest Week in American Birding. so I talked about birds instead lmao.

but here are some lines I like from the book

[image IDs: each excerpt is on a white background with a ball of yarn & knitting needles above the text and a dragon silhouetted in flight below. excerpts are in a serif font in the center. the title, The Remarkable Retirement of Edna Fisher, is at the bottom in a smaller sans serif font. each image has alt text of the actual quote.]

(I'm never sure how to manage alt text for images that use the same graphic but change text if I'm doing a bunch in a row, but I imagine it's annoying to get the same exact image description twelve times in a row when the important bit is the changing text? but if anyone who uses a screen reader has thoughts on this, please do let me know)

A black dragón floating above the clouds

So others need not squint to read “On March 11, 889 CE, 17 year-old Emperor Uda wrote:  ‘On the 6th day of the 2nd Month of the First Year of the Kampo era. Taking a moment of my free time, I wish to express my joy of the cat. It arrived by boat as a gift to the late Emperor, received from the hands of Minamoto no Kuwasahi.  The color of its fur is peerless. None could find the words to describe it, although one said it was reminiscent of the deepest ink. It has an air about it, similar to Kanno. Its length is 5 sun, and its height is 6 sun. I affixed a bow about its neck, but it did not remain for long. In rebellion, it narrows its eyes and extends its needles. It shows its back. When it lies down, it curls in a circle like a coin. you cannot see its feet. It’s as if it were a circular Bi disk. When it stands, its cry expresses profound loneliness, like a black dragon floating above the clouds. By nature, it stalks birds. It lowers its head and works its tail. It can extend its spine to raise its height by at least 2 sun. Its color allows it to disappear at night. I am convinced it is superior to all other cats.’”

accurate and extremely relatable tbh

Do you want to read a cool new book FOR FREE???? Do you like falling in love with characters that are kinda just messes and then screaming about it on social media? Do you like reading books that will hurt you?

THEN GETTING AN ARC OF A SEARING FAITH IS JUST FOR YOU!!!! A Searing Faith is:

You can find it on Booksprout and if you don’t have that, you can also get yourself a copy through Bookfunnel !

Of course, pre-orders are also available, so if you want to get your sweet little hands on this new modern masterpiece, follow this link.

Crows be like

The Binding of Bloom Mountain - OUT NOW

My debut novel is available now in ebook and paperback!

Alt text: A red and orange cloth background. The foreground of the picture shows the moody blue and green cover of The Binding of Bloom Mountain by Siggy Chambers. The tagline reads: the mountain will respond. To the upper right of the book is a green cauldron-shaped coffee mug with a latte, a yellow glass with a lit candle inside and dried flowers are to the upper right. The picture has very moody, cozy lighting.

Links here: https://linktr.ee/siggychambers

“One fool in search of money wins a cursed mountain and a lifetime of nightmares...” When Celeste Foster loses her job with the US Forestry Service, she finds solace in drinking herself stupid every night. But when she sees an ad that says “ADVENTURERS WANTED” and “compensation upon completion”, she pulls herself together to head for the town of Milton. In the mountains of Northwest Virginia, she enters a portal to an alternate Shenandoah Valley. Here monsters and gods live alongside humans, and every family has magic in their blood. But a curse festers on the slopes of Bloom Mountain. A decade has passed with no one to bind the magic, and soon the curse will destroy Milton. Armed with a recording, a bag of ritual items, and fresh scones from the cute barista that housed her, Celeste starts up Bloom Mountain. The Binding tests her endurance, sanity, and ability to adapt to this new world. If she can survive the horrors on the mountain, there might be more than just money waiting for her at the end.

"Beached" By Natalie shau

A recipe for finding your story's plot:

Ingredients:

Instructions:

Breaking 3 Writing 'Rules':

If you have ADHD or ASC or are some other flavor of neurodivergent, the 'rules' many big name authors post about how they've reached success can actually make you feel REALLY BAD because you can't always do the same thing.

Building a positive relationship with writing can make all the difference in getting you writing more.

Yup.

When people get terrified or outraged at the idea of “glorifying obesity”, I always wonder what it is they’re afraid is going to happen. 

Do they think that all the sudden people who were thin are going rush out to pack on the pounds, or that across the country school kids will be fixated on fat and compete amongst each other to see who can become the fattest, that it’ll show up on the 6 o’ clock news as the latest alarming trend in our nation’s youth?

I mean, do they think that if people see pictures of fat folks looking nice and smiling and being happy and not hating their bodies that everyone who was about to eat a salad is gonna toss it out in favor a cheeseburger (even the vegans!) and cancel their gym memberships?

Are they scared that a $20 billion dollar weight gain industry is gonna crop up and magazines are going to talk about “packing on those last fifteen pounds before summer”. Do they think suddenly there’s gonna be a flood of ads saying, “Gain belly fat using this one weird old tip” on people’s computer screens?

Do these people think positively presented fat bodies are so powerful and persuasive that it will convince thin people to utterly abandon thinness and dedicate themselves to getting as big as they can?

Or are they upset that people who were already fat will go around continuing to be fat without being punished for existing. Perhaps what they fear is that if we “glorify” obesity, that fat hate will make less and less sense to the world in general and that eventually, weight will become a neutral property. Thinness won’t be so valued that it can sustain industries, nor held as the perfect way to have a body but be seen as one among many valid body types. 

Maybe, even worse, all this glorification will lead to the idea that all bodies are valid and that bodies are never anything to be ashamed of or shame someone for.  

I wish this had been in comments and not tags:

#girl help i wish there was a $20b weight gain industry. maybe a doctor would take me being under weight seriously#← fucking sick of doctors thinking i’m healthy because i’m thin#pro tip: it’s the undiagnosed illness and gastroparesis

This matters. This here. Even if you’re not fat.

It’s important for us to realize that systemic oppression is not just about one group saying “help! help! we’re being oppressed”, it’s about some fundamental part of our society being thrown off by greed/power/hate that it warps logic.

We literally have a society where the paradigm that fat = sick = bad and thin = healthy = good that doctors, as these tags show, will let that guide their professional actions above what actual science and medicine would dictate they should do.

The same thing has been increasingly happening with diabetes type II. It’s known as a “fat” disease, so thin people who are displaying all kinds of symptoms don’t immediately get tested and fat people who are displaying no symptoms get tested even if there’s no reason.

We deserve care from doctors and professionals who listen to us and apply evidence based medicine. If you keep getting ones who don’t, try pushing back against fat hate. Even if you’re not fat.

Fighting fat hate is fighting the notion that people can be reduced down to one or two characteristics (size, race, gender, class, etc) and their care completely dictated by those characteristics rather than medical evidence and inherent respect. The more we do that, the better things get.

Yep! And there have been plenty of fat people who’ve died from cancer because they started losing weight quickly, and their doctor was like “Oh, keep up the good work! :)” and didn’t diagnose them until it was too late. So they died. Rapid weight loss is a sign of a lot of problems.

This is, I think, a thing people have trouble with. They think fatphobia is just “calling fat people mean names” or something.

And, like, you should also not do that, because it’s shitty and being cruel to people about their bodies is BAD, but it’s also frequently not what we’re talking about.

I care if my doctor can deny me medical treatment - or provide substandard medical treatment. I care if a fat person is paid less than a thin person doing the same job. I care if I, as a disabled person, can be denied paratransit services. (Actually a thing in my state! If your disability is “due to alcoholism, drug addiction, or obesity” they can refuse to provide paratransit services.  Which - in practice - just means if you’re disabled AND fat, they can decide it’s “due to obesity” regardless of what your disability actually is.)

I care about those godawful “Workplace Wellness” programs, where fat people end up paying more for their health insurance than someone with a “normal” BMI.*

*You’d think if you were actually concerned about “wellness”, and “We’re just worried about your health!”, they’d want to make sure that the people they view as “unhealthy” have access to medical care.  Of course, you’d also think that if they were, exercise equipment for heavier people would exist, or not be ridiculously expensive.  That’s because it’s not really about “health”, and never was.

It’s the difference between being denied housing or a job because you’re a member of [minority group], and some rando on the street calling you a slur.  They shouldn’t do that! They’re assholes! It’s shitty and upsetting! But it’s not the kind of structural oppression we’re talking about.

There are various chronic health problems that cause weight gain. There are also various TREATMENTS for chronic health problems that cause weight gain.  If your psych meds make you gain weight, but they keep you from killing yourself? The KEEPING YOU ALIVE is the important part.

Concept: You walk outside one night and notice that there are two full moons. A few hours go by and they don’t seem to move.

You stare up at them.

They blink.

You blink back. It’s only polite to return the greeting of the Big Night Cat.

I meant for this to be all spooky and ominous, but fuck it, this is way better. I love the Big Night Cat. She is beautiful. I support her.

hand slipped so heres a gif

Reblog to respect the Big Night Cat

—  - Terry Pratchett, “Straight from the Heart, via the Groin,” A Slip of the Keyboard (via thelonelyskeptic)

reblog to send three ghosts after elon musk

the siren 🌊

Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.

I have been waiting for this post all my life.

They are indeed purple, But one thing you’ve missed: The concept of “purple” Didn’t always exist.

Some cultures lack names For a color, you see. Hence good old Homer And his “wine-dark sea.”

A usage so quaint, A phrasing so old, For verses of romance Is sheer fucking gold.

So roses are red. Violets once were called blue. I’m hugely pedantic But what else is new?

My friend you’re not wrong About Homer’s wine-ey sea! Colours are a matter Of cultural contingency;

Words are in flux And meanings they drift But the word purple You’ve given short shrift.

The concept of purple, My friends, is old And refers to a pigment once precious as gold.

By crushing up molluscs From the wine-dark sea You make a dye: Imperial decree

Meant that in Rome, to wear purpura was a privilege reserved

For only the emperor!

The word ‘purple’, for clothes so fancy, Entered English By the ninth century

.

Why then are voilets Not purple in song? The dye from this mollusc, known for so long

Is almost magenta; More red than blue. The concept of purple is old, and yet new.

The dye is red, So this might be true: Roses are purple And violets are blue

.

While this song makes me merry, Tyrian purple dyes many a hue From magenta to berry And a true purple too.

But fun as it is to watch this poetic race The answer is staring you right in the face: Roses are red and violets are blue Because nothing fucking rhymes with purple.

Hirple - To limp or walk awkwardly

Cirple - An old Scots word for the hindquarters of a horse

“Roses are red, violets are purple,

My boner for you has caused me to hirple.”

…

DYING. I AM DYING.

Calling theshitpostcalligrapher! We need @theshitpostcalligrapher

@kiranovember u better buy this as a commission lmao